Your voice is echoing outside my window.
The sound of you breathing with your eyes closed.
Your heart's rhythm, its decay as it pulls you away.
I've got December tangled in my throat so you can't hear me shout.
Her hands are holding me down while you paint into my chest,
a portrait of you, where your love used to rest.
She won't let you walk back without tripping you up,
While I hold my hands out just to feel your touch.
I can feel you there, but I can't see you anywhere.*
You taught me to keep the memory close
like it would keep me warm when the sun drowned,
but every day is a cold punch knocking me out,
and every night, just as sleepless as my doubt.
So how do I sleep when in my dreams I can't breathe?
And how can I believe what my eyes can't see?
I loved for so long that it changed my heart's beat.
The chill bled me blue and slowed each crash and pound.
What's left to recall when the stars are too dark to see?
*This line and the titles of the two songs were taken from "Whispering Pines," written by The Band
Track Name: But I Don't See You Anywhere
But I Don't See You Anywhere
I'd rather see you as the bright light that you used to be,
than the faded star leading me astray.
With misguided steps, I was losing myself.
And you, you were always walking away.
The memory of what could have been is all I have haunting me,
tearing out the stitches in the wounds of my heart that used to be.
Every rain cloud paints my name in the dead sky, and I,
I can't move on when the downpour's drowning me out.
The winter stiffens my skin straight, so i can stand up while my faith evaporates--
but my shoulders are weighed down by the taste of your name.
I thought it would be so easy to spit it out, like love never crossed my tongue,
but it's stuck in the back my throat and its cold and alone and it's dead and it's gone--
blinded, bound down, faded, numb.